nut hugger
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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