god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize