Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
