Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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