I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
