I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
