you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
