Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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