your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
