Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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