Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
