the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
did i just pee glitter
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
