I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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