If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize