Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
