took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
