No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
