Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
