my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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