So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
