Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
