office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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