The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
