You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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