That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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