She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
