So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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