She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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