what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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