omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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