i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
