how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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