I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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