Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
