The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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