just tell him i said nine months
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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