why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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