I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
