I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
