Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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