That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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