one two three fourrrrnication!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
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just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
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Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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