How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
