Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
