Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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