would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
