I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
