apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
