I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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