i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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