glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
