Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
