did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
