Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
