He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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